Last week, a college admissions bribery scandal made the news. In fact, we asked students for their responses. Today, we ask about the parental behavior that may give rise to such situations.
How involved do you think parents should be in their children’s lives? What can young people do if they feel their parents are crossing lines in trying to ensure things like academic success, placement on sports teams and, yes, acceptance at their top-choice college or university?
In “How Parents Are Robbing Their Children of Adulthood,” Claire Cain Miller and Jonah Engel Bromwich describe “snowplow parents” who, in trying to “keep their children’s futures obstacle-free,” prevent their children from learning necessary skills and having experiences that will help them prepare for challenges they’ll face in college and beyond. They write:
It starts early, when parents get on wait lists for elite preschools before their babies are born and try to make sure their toddlers are never compelled to do anything that may frustrate them. It gets more intense when school starts: running a forgotten assignment to school or calling a coach to request that their child make the team.
Later, it’s writing them an excuse if they procrastinate on schoolwork, paying a college counselor thousands of dollars to perfect their applications or calling their professors to argue about a grade.
… Learning to solve problems, take risks and overcome frustration are crucial life skills, many child development experts say, and if parents don’t let their children encounter failure, the children don’t acquire them. When a 3-year-old drops a dish and breaks it, she’s probably going to try not to drop it the next time. When a 20-year-old sleeps through a test, he’s probably not going to forget to set his alarm again.
Snowplowing has gone so far, they say, that many young people are in crisis, lacking these problem-solving skills and experiencing record rates of anxiety. There are now classes to teach children to practice failing, at college campuses around the country and even for preschoolers.
Students, read the entire article, then tell us:
— What, if anything, from the article resonates with you, either based on your experiences or on what you have witnessed with friends and classmates?
— Does anyone you know fit the description of a “snowplow parent”? If so, what examples can you give about the person’s words or actions to support your claim?
— Why do you think some parents try to shield their children from difficulty? Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages — both short- and long-term — that these children may have.
— What are some signs that parents should stop doing things like waking their children in the morning, interceding with coaches, teachers or employers, and setting up playdates? Or is there a certain age at which the child should no longer have such things happen?
— The article mentions Cathy Tran, a senior at the University of Pennsylvania and the daughter of people who immigrated from Vietnam who did not attend college. Ms. Tran states, “I actually think that I have a sense of independence and confidence in myself in a way that some of my friends whose parents attended college might not have.” Do you think Ms. Tran’s experience might be common among other young people in her situation? Why or why not?
— In “Building Grit in Girls Through Mountain Biking,” another recent article about resilience and young people, A.C. Shilton writes about how mountain biking helps participants find strength in themselves, in part by having no place for parents to be involved:
Even better: Parents are often left sitting in cars at the trailhead. “Parents are parents,” she says, and every now and then one gets aggressive about his or her child’s performance. But as soon as the kids ride off and into the woods, they’re free to recreate on their own terms.
What they do, once they get into those woods, can be pretty empowering. “There’s a certain work ethic you have to have to be a mountain biker,” said Annika Peacock, who is now 15. “If there’s a section of the trail that’s really hard for me, I’ll go try it five more times. I say to myself, yes, yes, yes, I can do this.” And then the next day? “I go back and do it again.” She now competes against other teens as part of the National Interscholastic Cycling Association, an organization working to bring mountain biking programs to high schools throughout the United States.
Annika’s mother says of her daughter, “She’s this petite little bundle of smiles, but she has this self-talk inside her that says ‘I can do this’, and she will ride and re-ride something until she gets it. There’s this resilience she’s trained in herself. She’s fierce.”
Are there any activities you’ve taken part in that are similarly empowering? To what degree, if at all, do those activities limit or prevent parental interference?
Students 13 and older are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public.B:
—“【早】【安】” 【不】【行】【不】【行】，【和】【平】【时】【没】【什】【么】【区】【别】。 —“【男】【朋】【友】～【早】【安】【呀】～” 【不】【行】【不】【行】，【太】【腻】【歪】【了】。 —“【啊】！【早】【安】！” 【啧】，【怎】【么】【感】【觉】【这】【辈】【子】【都】【没】【有】【早】【过】【安】？【这】【么】【激】【动】？ —“【男】【朋】【友】，【早】【安】。” 【啧】，【不】【对】，【太】【严】【肃】【了】，【删】【掉】【删】【掉】！ 【啊】【啊】【啊】【啊】【啊】！【烦】【躁】！ 【不】【想】【发】【了】！ ——“【早】【安】【安】。【男】【朋】2017年003期天中图库【第】【一】【城】，【乃】【是】【中】【央】【帝】【国】【最】【大】【最】【繁】【华】【的】【城】【池】，【城】【池】【中】【家】【族】【无】【数】，【拍】【卖】【场】、【角】【斗】【场】、【炼】【器】【师】【工】【会】、【炼】【丹】【师】【工】【会】【等】【各】【大】【势】【力】【数】【步】【尽】【数】。【在】【第】【一】【城】【中】，【玄】【天】【境】【强】【者】【就】【只】【是】【普】【通】【修】【炼】【者】，【有】【圣】【人】【存】【在】【时】【玄】【天】【境】【毫】【不】【起】【眼】，【现】【在】【圣】【人】【不】【再】【了】【玄】【天】【境】【的】【地】【位】【依】【旧】【没】【有】【起】【来】，【因】【为】【玄】【天】【境】【修】【炼】【者】【实】【在】【是】【太】【多】【了】，【多】【的】【数】【不】【过】【来】。【不】【只】【是】【玄】【天】
“【别】【的】【事】。”【傅】【锦】【寒】【一】【副】【讳】【莫】【如】【深】【的】【样】【子】。 “【好】【吧】。”【沈】【未】【晞】【点】【点】【头】，【但】【还】【是】【在】【离】【正】【门】【不】【远】【的】【地】【方】【悄】【悄】【下】【车】，【没】【有】【同】【傅】【锦】【寒】【一】【起】【走】。 【路】【江】【回】【头】【看】【傅】【锦】【寒】，【摸】【了】【摸】【鼻】【子】，【笑】【道】，“【怎】【么】【觉】【得】【沈】【小】【姐】【像】【是】【在】【和】【您】【偷】【晴】【一】【样】。” 【话】【音】【落】【下】，【他】【只】【觉】【得】【一】【股】【寒】【意】【自】【后】【脑】【勺】【直】【窜】【而】【来】，【冷】【不】【丁】【的】【打】【了】【个】【冷】【颤】。 【一】【回】
“【为】【什】【么】【明】【明】【已】【经】【很】【是】【警】【告】【你】【了】？【我】【也】【说】【过】，【不】【想】【看】【到】【你】，【你】【为】【什】【么】【还】【是】【一】【定】【要】【缠】【着】【我】？” 【端】【木】【熙】【指】【了】【指】，【因】【为】【不】【放】【心】【而】【跟】【出】【来】【的】【会】【长】，【现】【在】【的】【会】【长】【因】【为】【有】【了】【旁】【边】【某】【人】【力】【量】【的】【支】【撑】，【所】【以】【可】【以】【自】【由】【活】【动】【了】，【但】【是】【结】【界】【依】【旧】【还】【在】【学】【院】【的】【上】【方】。 “【就】【像】【他】【们】【一】【样】，【或】【许】【因】【为】【某】【些】【原】【因】，【你】【跟】【我】【之】【间】【就】【像】【是】【隔】【了】【好】【几】【重】
【沈】【燕】【瑭】【在】【心】【里】【嘀】【咕】，“【师】【伯】【啊】，【我】【可】【就】【帮】【你】【到】【这】【了】，【要】【把】【握】【住】【机】【会】【哦】！” 【苏】【远】【欢】【以】【为】【沈】【燕】【瑭】【是】【真】【的】【想】【他】【师】【伯】【了】，【所】【以】【回】【了】【弗】【灵】【山】【真】【转】【道】【去】【了】【方】【隐】【的】【院】【子】。 【看】【到】【他】【方】【隐】【还】【十】【分】【惊】【讶】，【因】【为】【苏】【远】【欢】【可】【是】【不】【会】【踏】【入】【他】【的】【寝】【居】【范】【围】【的】，【守】【礼】【守】【到】【让】【人】【发】【指】。 “【远】【欢】，【你】【怎】【么】【来】【了】？【进】【里】【面】【坐】【吧】。”【方】【隐】【走】【上】【前】，【将】【苏】